System overload...failure???

It's seems to be that old 'too many cooks spoil the soup' or maybe it is a case of the 'telephone' game. Whether it is simply a case of too many people involved or convoluted messages it is seeming to be quite a challenge to get Matthew the help that is needed. He is struggling so hard academically and I don't even know where to start to help him out! I got a call this morning from Tracy LB and she had said that she got a call from Carol with the school saying she wanted to arrange a meeting with everyone to discuss Matthew's behavior problems. We were both really thrown for a loop because Matthew seems to be having great behavior at school as far as I can tell and I check with the teacher every week...as I relayed to Tracy. It seems it is not his behavior but his academics that are the problem...which is really no new news. Only thing is no ones seems to best know how to meet his needs. SO now we have to have a meeting of the minds, bringing all the cooks to one giant pot, and figure out how we can teach this kiddo and start to catch him up a little. Here's the thing though...for one kid to make a p;an of action we need to have a room with like 9 people in it...doesn't this seem like a bit much?

ARGH!

It's a bitch session blog because taxes suck and so does starting the day with whining children.
I was up way past my bedtime last night doing taxes. Why so last minute??? They we're my taxes they were his taxes. In typical testosterone fashion the were procrastinated until the very last minute, well almost it did get done before midnight. This was the first year I have actually done taxes (as in not hired a preparer) in at least ten years and I didn't even make enough this year to file! Not even enough for the economic stimulus deal. Stay at home Mom, hard work, no pay. This is also the first year since 1998 that I could have filed as single. What a strange realization that was. Here I am very committed to a wonderfully loving relationship, which is very different from where I have been for the last decade. I am very pregnant with my partners wiggly little baby. We are raising a huge family together...yet I can file single!?. I hate the way the government and society labels relationships and determines who qualifies for what based on their outline/morals of what a family should look like.
Needless to say I didn't sleep well after sitting in front of a computer screen and staring at tax info for hours. We crawled in bed and put on one of our favorite movies...Princess Bride which he had picked up a new copy of on his way home. He knew I was going to need a cuddle in bed and watch the dumb box night after the crazy day I had with the kids and then doing taxes after they went to bed. He was even good enough to buy treats for movie time! We didn't make it very far past the fire swamp before crashing hard. Although it was a night full of tossing and turning, strange dreams and emptying the pregnant bladder. All of this adds up to not enough sleep - not a good way to start a day.
It all started out fairly well, every one was awake by the time I went to rouse them! I got lunches prepared for the two kids headed off to field trips and that's where the trouble began. My eight year old wanted a cold lunch...normally this wouldn't be a problem but we have had no cash for anything including groceries. The assistance we applied for hasn't come through yet and we don't have enough for everyone. Since they all qualified for free hot lunches I reminded him of this and talked to him about all the choices the school offered for lunches - this still wasn't good enough. Then his fit switched causes...he couldn't find socks. Why not...well because none of his dirty socks made it to the laundry. This is one of the situations I refer to as 'not my problem' every basket of laundry I receive I wash dry and fold. It is they're responsibility to put the dirty clothes in the basket and put them away when they are clean! GRRRRR so why is this a constant problem? I had two older siblings help him look for socks in the random sock basket (it's where all the left over mis-matched socks end up) and both helped him to find socks. The HUGE problem with that was the first kid found two socks of different sizes that obviously didn't match...this would JUST NOT WORK! The second kid found him two matching socks-miraculous!!! This however wouldn't work either because they were his sisters socks! Now these are not pink frilly lacy socks they are plain white ankle socks with the brand name on the toe in a pale purple...not super girlie looking. What mattered was that he knew they were hers and would not I repeat WOULD NOT wear girl socks to school. At this point we have five minutes to leave. The walkers have already left for school and the car riders are all waiting on this one kiddo. I literally had to sit him down and put on his socks, shoes, jacket, and back pack all while he was screaming and throwing a fit. He did at least make it to school on time. He was angry with me still but didn't refuse to get out of the car so at least that battle was avoided. Time to take stock and be thankful for the good things.
Everyone got out of bed on their own and on time!!!
Six out of seven kids got dressed with no problems!!!
There was enough lunch stuff to make cold lunches for the two headed off on their first field trip together!!!
My pre-teen was not only nice this morning but helpful and understanding!!!
The weather was nice enough that the walkers could walk and I didn't have to scramble to arrange for a ride.
The house is now almost quiet as only one is left at home until noon.
I get to nap today!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thankful, we are blessed and the day will turn around again, and again, and again.

Updating my life...pictures of the whole crew to come soon!

An update on my expanding family...we have physical custody of all of Chris’s kids now. In a very pleasant surprise the first Friday of Spring Break we received a phone call saying that we didn’t have to return Angelica and Matthew to their foster home. Apparently enough abuse had been reported and verified and all 7 of the children living in that foster home were pulled permanently and they are no longer allowed to give foster care in the state of Oregon, there is also the possibility of criminal charges and proceedings. So now living in the house full time we have Christina (14), Megan (12), Angelica (10), Joseph (9), Matthew (8), Kenneth (7) and Liam (5) with Baby M growing rapidly and arriving sometime in July. It is a fun, humbling, frustrating, loving, nurturing, growing, challenging, constantly changing learning experience that I seem to have ventured into. So many different personalities, so many varied issues to be tackled, so many styles of learning and all in different stages of growth and development (not necessarily in order of age either). All of the children have challenges to overcome and every day seems to show a new one, even the adjustment of this new life and family is daunting at best for some of them. Learning about the different psychological diagnosis of all the kiddos as well as the disabilities and how to best work with, cope with and teach according to needs and developmental levels is at times a bit overwhelming. I pray daily that I am up to the challenge and remind myself sometimes multiple times a day that we would not be given more than we could handle. Sometimes I am very aware that God has more faith in me than I do in myself. Patience, understanding, tolerance, grace, and ear plugs seem to be the most often requested in prayer. Although I also need to remember when praying that often you are not given what you are asking for but rather the opportunity to learn and experience what you are asking for...perhaps I prayed to often for love for I am receiving the opportunity and experience to love in spades...I guess all those things previously mentioned go hand in hand with love though.
My lovingly sneaky man had arranged for us to have a date and on the evening before Easter we left the house and all the children in it with my Dad hoping and praying that all would be well for a few hours (lol really I do have faith in my father but it is a lot of kids for one man). He took me to a park that is very special to us. It is a place that individually we both held as a sacred and magical place and together planted the seeds of our love. It is the place where we each realized we were falling in love. There was no one there that evening, or at least no people. The only other company we had was that of two eagles nesting...doing the ’dance of love’, watching over and blessings the proceedings below. That evening Chris asked me to be his wife! He proposed ever so romantically and I was so surprised and excited and overjoyed that I had to sit and rest my shakey legs for a moment. Even though I knew that this was the direction our relationship was headed towards it hit me harder than I expected it to. I ,of course, through a few tears answered with a yes and we are tentatively planning a wedding in that same park for the summer of 2009. Our love bloomed in the summer, our baby will be born in the summer and it seems fitting to say our vows in the summer. My engagement ring is a beautiful setting with one square white opal in the center and two rectangular pink tourmalines on either side. Most of you know how I place much meaning into the stones I wear as well as the meanings behind symbols and numbers. Although I don’t think he had these things specifically in mind when buying this ring, nothing is coincidence. Check this out...
At one time, this stone was considered the gem of love. Known as "The Gem of the Gods," Opal has always had a mystical significance. It is said to aid in psychic vision and to have the power to open the spiritual centers. It enhances your ability to communicate what is in your heart, helps in overcoming those things you do to yourself that are harmful. The opal is said to be many things including the most powerful of healing stones, the stone of hope, and the stone of great achievement.

Pink Tourmaline is a good choice for children recovering from abuse, and healing the inner child. Brings deep comforting love energy. Transforms negative behavior into positive. Love, spirituality, joy, peace, understanding. Emotional and spiritual love, healing emotional loss and emotional pain, fear, instills self-gentleness. Tourmaline helps you to move beyond limited thinking, to an expanded sense of reality, and see past experiences in new ways. It teaches us that we are light beings in physical form, and helps us to experience the physical and spiritual worlds as one.

The square represents building uprightly on a strong secure foundation. It has also been used to symbolize home.

Of course there are also three stones so here for those that don’t already know is some info on the number three. This is just a general over view.

The third dimension - we do things in threes so they will manifest in our physical realm. It’s roots stem from the meaning of multiplicity. Creative power; growth. Three is a moving forward of energy, overcoming duality, expression, manifestation and synthesis. Three is the first number to which the meaning "all" was given. It is The Triad, being the number of the whole as it contains the beginning, a middle and an end. The power of three is universal and is the tripartide nature of the world as heaven, earth, and waters. It is human as body, soul and spirit. Notice the distinction that soul and spirit are not the same. They are not. Three is birth, life, death. It is the beginning, middle and end. Three is a complete cycle unto itself. It is past, present, future.

So there it is, take it or leave it but it means a lot to me. I am so blessed with all of these life changes. Our family will only become stronger as individuals and as a unit. We are at the very begining of a long and beautiful journey and I can’t wait to see it evolve further.