Feeling like a frustrated housewife today in a really big way.
The high running emotions of my teenage daughters, as well as their subtle and perhaps subconscious manipulation tactics have really tied my stomach in knots.
OR perhaps I should say I have allowed this to tie my stomach in knots. I allowed their shit to filter into my relationship with my husband which created a non-argument argument last night that  is spilling over into today.
Why? I haven't let it go. I haven't reached any sort of feeling of resolution. It was loud exchanges of 'I don't want to argue about it' and defensive posturing until I left the house to walk the dog. Then it was silence and him falling asleep on the couch followed by near silence and a movie in bed. Where is the resolution in that?
Tensions have been running high between us any way though. There is no major issue or malfunction simply life. I am stressed by children, home and the need to get out on a damn date with my husband. He is stressed by work, children and the need to play with his band.
I have made the mistake of allowing myself to get excited about plans for us to go out for the last two nights. I know that expectations are simply resentments waiting in the wings. Seriously though what is wrong with being hopefully and optimistic. Now, however, my hopeful optimism has turned to disappointment.
He will be gone all day today and although it was still left totally unresolved for me and a bit bitter for both of us he will work out his shit on his music.
I am left sitting in it, at home, with all the kids.
My plan is to clean. Scrub out some of my aggression on my bathroom and power out some laundry. At least sitting in a clean room tonight or showering in my sparkling bathroom will lead to a sense of accomplishment.
I am not holding out any hope for a date this weekend and frankly for the rest of this month. It seems as though our weekends just keep getting busier for the rest of January. Ah well, so it is.
Maybe I should find a way to take myself on a date. Perhaps Dad will come hang with the kids for an hour or two and I can take myself to lunch. Perhaps my teenage daughters are not the only ones with high running emotions. Maybe it's in the air, maybe it's in the hormones.