Feeling like a frustrated housewife today in a really big way.
The high running emotions of my teenage daughters, as well as their subtle and perhaps subconscious manipulation tactics have really tied my stomach in knots.
OR perhaps I should say I have allowed this to tie my stomach in knots. I allowed their shit to filter into my relationship with my husband which created a non-argument argument last night that is spilling over into today.
Why? I haven't let it go. I haven't reached any sort of feeling of resolution. It was loud exchanges of 'I don't want to argue about it' and defensive posturing until I left the house to walk the dog. Then it was silence and him falling asleep on the couch followed by near silence and a movie in bed. Where is the resolution in that?
Tensions have been running high between us any way though. There is no major issue or malfunction simply life. I am stressed by children, home and the need to get out on a damn date with my husband. He is stressed by work, children and the need to play with his band.
I have made the mistake of allowing myself to get excited about plans for us to go out for the last two nights. I know that expectations are simply resentments waiting in the wings. Seriously though what is wrong with being hopefully and optimistic. Now, however, my hopeful optimism has turned to disappointment.
He will be gone all day today and although it was still left totally unresolved for me and a bit bitter for both of us he will work out his shit on his music.
I am left sitting in it, at home, with all the kids.
My plan is to clean. Scrub out some of my aggression on my bathroom and power out some laundry. At least sitting in a clean room tonight or showering in my sparkling bathroom will lead to a sense of accomplishment.
I am not holding out any hope for a date this weekend and frankly for the rest of this month. It seems as though our weekends just keep getting busier for the rest of January. Ah well, so it is.
Maybe I should find a way to take myself on a date. Perhaps Dad will come hang with the kids for an hour or two and I can take myself to lunch. Perhaps my teenage daughters are not the only ones with high running emotions. Maybe it's in the air, maybe it's in the hormones.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Infection
It amazes me how much I still continue to allow him to not only affect my life but to infect my life.
Show IPA
in·fect
[in-fekt] Show IPA
verb (used with object)
2.
to affect with disease.
3.
to taint or contaminate with something that affects quality,character, or condition unfavorably: to infect the air withpoison gas.
4.
to corrupt or affect morally: The news of the gold strike infectedhim with greed.
5.
to imbue with some pernicious belief, opinion, etc.
Once again my ex-husband and his counter-part in our non-conformist family, Chris's ex-wife, have managed to sweep in and wreek havoc. It is impressed how such little effort can create such enormous tidal waves of emotions. A gift box and a card, seemingly harmless. In truth they were heart-wrenching time bombs. These little 'acts of kindness' are really selfish acts meant to make themselves fee better, not to actually bring any joy to their children.
Brian sent a box. The contents of which were wrapped beautifully in paper full of the promise of holiday joy. Inside the crinkly colorful packages more broken dreams and empty promises. I watched as I saw hopes and expectations grow in a matter of seconds only to be crush moment later. Games they couldn't play with the use of the wire-exposed broken controllers they couldn't play with. I reminded myself, as I drove in the down pour of rain and the gloom of their sadness, that it was the thought that counts. I reminded myself, as I spent money I didn't really have to spend, that it was the thought that counts. I reminded myself, as I borrowed controllers from a friend who really vares enough to put forth some thought and effort, that it was the thought that counts. Sadly, what they will remember was not his thoughts be my actions. Perhaps that it where I should shift my attention to, not his lack of action but my continuance of action. Just as I always have done I am once again the Mom who picks up the pieces, emotionally and physically, and makes things better.
When I had to watch as my daughter found more disappointment in the tattered edges of a sad greeting came in the mail, I tried to remember that it was 'the thought that counts'. A half put-together greeting card with 8 words and a signature is all there is of a long lost and heart breaking relationship with a mother long gone.
What saddens me most is not the broken promises, not the heart break, not the tears, not the time or money lost, but the thread of hope that they continue to hold onto like it's a life raft. I am grateful that I am here for them. I am grateful that I have a loving partner and co-parent. I am grateful that every day I get to hear about their joys as well as their sorrows. This is where I need to shift my focus. On days like today when I feel kicked down by the absentee parents, sick to my stomach with the infection they momentarily injected into my life, I need to heal with the power of my thanks. I need to stop and wrap my wounds in the loving embrace of the bandages of joy, and gratitude. If they can hold onto that little bit of hope through everything then I will stand by them with the feeling that everything will turn out for the best. In the long run it will be so. It is not the feeling of an empty stomach that we remember but the great pleasure of a wonderful filling meal. It is not the struggle of trying to make it out of the rushing rapids when we're drowning but the excitement and happiness of a rescue. In the end it's the good that will prevail.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Fathers
As I looked back on the few blogs I have written I realized that many were simply bitch sessions. I sat and thought for a moment before writing about my latest complaint. Perhaps I should first find some way to change my thoughts and improve my mood, there by not adding to the 'bitch list'. Then I decided, no body reads this anyway so screw it, here goes another one.
Chris and I have spent countless hours caring for our very ill son for five days now. It has been heart breaking watching him suffer through something I had no explanation for. The Saturday night it started Chris got out of bed at around midnight to drive to J's friends house and bring him home. He lovingly tucked him into bed reassuring him that we were just down the hall if he needed us. Chris has cleaned out the puke bowl so many times I have lost count. because he knows how sick it makes me to do so. On Monday when he went to work he called and sent texts several times just to check on Joseph and see how he was doing. On Tuesday when the doctor sent us to the hospital for and urgent CT scan Chris called his boss and asked for the rest of the day off so he could come home and be with his family. When they told us to take him back to the ER Chris didn't hesitate to grab his keys pack him carefully into the car and escort us quickly, but safely, into Salem. While we were in triage J fell asleep for a moment, I asked Chris to take advantage of the opportunity to run and grab us caffeine. J of course woke up while he was gone and asked 'where did Dad go?', he wouldn't go back to sleep until Dad was back. Chris held his hand while they tried multiple times to put in and IV and walked him to the bathroom carrying his IV bag when he couldn't get there on his own. While waiting for his second CT scan results I ducked out to eat dinner. J in his heavily medicated daze gaze up at Chris and said "I love you Dad". Chris relayed this to me with tears in his eyes as we were going to bed last night. That is a moment that will stick with him forever. He may not be his biological father but he will always be his Dad.
I called his biological father yesterday as I was driving him in for his urgent CT scan. I thought it would be a good idea to give him a heads up as to the fact that the possibility of surgery had been talked about. I know if I were in his shoes I would appreciate a warning before receiving a phone call that he had just had surgery. B was home from work that day and although he did vocalize concern for J he also spent several minutes of the brief conversation talking about how sick he was with his head cold. Never once did he actually ask to speak to J, he did ask to be updated though so I did. I called him after they found nothing on the first CT scan, I called him after I was told to take him to the ER, I called him after he had his second CT scan, again never once did he ask to speak to his son. When I called him during my 'dinner break' after the second CT I noticed a ton of noise in the background. Upon inquiring I learned he had managed to drag himself out of his sick bed to go play his weekly Tuesday boccie call game. Needless to say that conversation was exceptionally short so as not to interrupt too much of his play time. I didn't call him again after that. I realized that if he was actually concerned he would have taken the time to call or text to check on him like several other of our friends and family had been doing throughout the day. This morning I decided not to call him either. I have been awake for three hours now and have not heard a thing from him, nor do I anticipate a call anytime in the near future.
J is doing much better this morning. Although we still do not know exactly what was wrong with him I am glad to see him sitting up with a smile back on his face. Chris decided to take another day home just to be sure J was alright and we didn't have to rush him back in today. I am blessed that B gave me such amazing boys but I am even more blessed that Chris has chosen to be the loving dedicated father that they so desperately needed. It has been a beautiful progression from the time our family came together and Chris was 'merely a stepdad' to the time were they acknowledged, accepted and invited him to be their Dad.
Chris and I have spent countless hours caring for our very ill son for five days now. It has been heart breaking watching him suffer through something I had no explanation for. The Saturday night it started Chris got out of bed at around midnight to drive to J's friends house and bring him home. He lovingly tucked him into bed reassuring him that we were just down the hall if he needed us. Chris has cleaned out the puke bowl so many times I have lost count. because he knows how sick it makes me to do so. On Monday when he went to work he called and sent texts several times just to check on Joseph and see how he was doing. On Tuesday when the doctor sent us to the hospital for and urgent CT scan Chris called his boss and asked for the rest of the day off so he could come home and be with his family. When they told us to take him back to the ER Chris didn't hesitate to grab his keys pack him carefully into the car and escort us quickly, but safely, into Salem. While we were in triage J fell asleep for a moment, I asked Chris to take advantage of the opportunity to run and grab us caffeine. J of course woke up while he was gone and asked 'where did Dad go?', he wouldn't go back to sleep until Dad was back. Chris held his hand while they tried multiple times to put in and IV and walked him to the bathroom carrying his IV bag when he couldn't get there on his own. While waiting for his second CT scan results I ducked out to eat dinner. J in his heavily medicated daze gaze up at Chris and said "I love you Dad". Chris relayed this to me with tears in his eyes as we were going to bed last night. That is a moment that will stick with him forever. He may not be his biological father but he will always be his Dad.
I called his biological father yesterday as I was driving him in for his urgent CT scan. I thought it would be a good idea to give him a heads up as to the fact that the possibility of surgery had been talked about. I know if I were in his shoes I would appreciate a warning before receiving a phone call that he had just had surgery. B was home from work that day and although he did vocalize concern for J he also spent several minutes of the brief conversation talking about how sick he was with his head cold. Never once did he actually ask to speak to J, he did ask to be updated though so I did. I called him after they found nothing on the first CT scan, I called him after I was told to take him to the ER, I called him after he had his second CT scan, again never once did he ask to speak to his son. When I called him during my 'dinner break' after the second CT I noticed a ton of noise in the background. Upon inquiring I learned he had managed to drag himself out of his sick bed to go play his weekly Tuesday boccie call game. Needless to say that conversation was exceptionally short so as not to interrupt too much of his play time. I didn't call him again after that. I realized that if he was actually concerned he would have taken the time to call or text to check on him like several other of our friends and family had been doing throughout the day. This morning I decided not to call him either. I have been awake for three hours now and have not heard a thing from him, nor do I anticipate a call anytime in the near future.
J is doing much better this morning. Although we still do not know exactly what was wrong with him I am glad to see him sitting up with a smile back on his face. Chris decided to take another day home just to be sure J was alright and we didn't have to rush him back in today. I am blessed that B gave me such amazing boys but I am even more blessed that Chris has chosen to be the loving dedicated father that they so desperately needed. It has been a beautiful progression from the time our family came together and Chris was 'merely a stepdad' to the time were they acknowledged, accepted and invited him to be their Dad.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Just can't sleep
Insomnia has been a plague I have been struggling to survive for almost two weeks now. My emotions are runner high. I am quick to irritation, quick to tears, quick to hysterical laughter, quick to snap judgement, and quick to feeling - everything. The last twelve days or so have been exhausting. This morning I decided to just go with it.
After laying in bed with my mind rehashing every event, decision, action taken and comments made in recent past I just got up at 4:15ish and said screw it...'good morning world'. I went to the bathroom and read for awhile. That is not a cute euphemism for anything, I simply put the seat down and read. With people living in my front room and my loving husband and baby sleeping in bed it seemed like the only logical place to turn a couple of pages. Reading time being at a premium it was nice to simply sit uninterrupted for about 45 minutes. I think I may need to find a place to store a other reading material in the for future, Revolver magazine and it's Metal band interviews can only hold my attention for so long. So now here I sit, typing mindlessly away, rambling about...nothing really.
Perhaps if I take a moment to pout out what my brain has been mulling over I will sleep better tonight, it's certainly worth a try.
Derby...totally bummed. After really taking a good hard look at the economics and logistics of it I had to come to the ugly reality that I am just not ready to jump into it full force yet. Making a commitment to it that I know I couldn't follow through with would in the long run be a bigger disappointment than simply baby stepping into the league. At the same time I am bummed that I didn't just throw myself fully and completely into it. Today I will contact the league and find out what I can do to volunteer and maybe even still get in some skate hours with the girls. Slow immersion into cold unsure waters. Most of my life I have been the 'dive right in' kind of girl. I have noted that at those times although I am quick to jump, my swim time is usually quite short. This time I will take a different approach and see what happens.
My garden/seedling project...overwhelming. First couple of lessons learned. If you plant them they will grow. There is never enough space for a garden. Too many of one 'crop' is well...too many. Finding homes for unwanted plants is like finding homes for unwanted couches, if you offer them for free people tend to think there is something wrong with them. Hundreds of little pepper and tomato plants are crowding my front porch. Dozens of potential potato plants are on the back porch waiting to make roots in the soil. Today I will take down the plastic from the patio (make shift green house), make sure all of the arbors are stable and plant my potato starters amongst the randomly sprouting pumpkins. I ought to take some pictures of the garden in it's early stage and post some pictures.
Exes...grrrrr...frustrating. There is so much anger, anger a secondary emotion, perhaps hurt or disappointment is a better descriptor. Truly it amazes me how someone so far away can have such an impact on so many lives. There is some idea in his head, or so I believe, that he cannot be an affective parent from such a distance. Somehow I must find a way to convey that if he can have a strong negative impact the way he has then the potential for an equally strong positive impact is also there. Every day is the opportunity to leave a memory in the mind of a child and it would seem to me that he would prefer to leave happy memories he just doesn't know how. I wonder if there are any websites for distance parenting, advice and support things. I am very happy that he is moving on with his life and creating a new existence for himself, I just wish he could still find a way to include the children he already has a bit more.
Vacation?...exciting and terrifying. There are so many loving faces I long to see and warm embraces I yearn to behold in my trip to the Bay Area. However, I have become so accustomed to my relatively quiet, slow paced, small town life that even just thinking about the fast paced, loud, over crowded and sometimes violent madness that I moved away from gives me knots in my stomach. The bottle of 10 little pills prescribed just for this trip will most likely be my best friend. At least while I am in the crazy busy Oakland airport I will be happily living in an anxiety free state. I know that Chris is doing his very best to be supportive and I'm sure that me taking about my fears of this trip is not helping. He has this manly husband want/need to protect me from the outside world (that is outside of our little area) and he has this idea that I am stepping into a dangerous place. The news of Lyra's crazy drive by probably didn't help. My constant need to talk to my husband about everything probably needs a filter for the time being.
Ah I feel a little better now, a small weight has been lifted.
Time for a gratitude attitude adjustment...
I am grateful for having the space to plant a small garden.
I am grateful that our 6th graders had a great time at camp.
I am grateful that our 6th graders are home...I missed them.
I am grateful that today is payday.
I am grateful BreAnna starts her new job today.
I am grateful Chris has a (unofficial) job interview.
I am grateful my body is getting stronger.
I am grateful we found a good psychiatrist for Kenneth and Matthew.
I am grateful for music to dance/skate to.
I am grateful for a good mood :)
After laying in bed with my mind rehashing every event, decision, action taken and comments made in recent past I just got up at 4:15ish and said screw it...'good morning world'. I went to the bathroom and read for awhile. That is not a cute euphemism for anything, I simply put the seat down and read. With people living in my front room and my loving husband and baby sleeping in bed it seemed like the only logical place to turn a couple of pages. Reading time being at a premium it was nice to simply sit uninterrupted for about 45 minutes. I think I may need to find a place to store a other reading material in the for future, Revolver magazine and it's Metal band interviews can only hold my attention for so long. So now here I sit, typing mindlessly away, rambling about...nothing really.
Perhaps if I take a moment to pout out what my brain has been mulling over I will sleep better tonight, it's certainly worth a try.
Derby...totally bummed. After really taking a good hard look at the economics and logistics of it I had to come to the ugly reality that I am just not ready to jump into it full force yet. Making a commitment to it that I know I couldn't follow through with would in the long run be a bigger disappointment than simply baby stepping into the league. At the same time I am bummed that I didn't just throw myself fully and completely into it. Today I will contact the league and find out what I can do to volunteer and maybe even still get in some skate hours with the girls. Slow immersion into cold unsure waters. Most of my life I have been the 'dive right in' kind of girl. I have noted that at those times although I am quick to jump, my swim time is usually quite short. This time I will take a different approach and see what happens.
My garden/seedling project...overwhelming. First couple of lessons learned. If you plant them they will grow. There is never enough space for a garden. Too many of one 'crop' is well...too many. Finding homes for unwanted plants is like finding homes for unwanted couches, if you offer them for free people tend to think there is something wrong with them. Hundreds of little pepper and tomato plants are crowding my front porch. Dozens of potential potato plants are on the back porch waiting to make roots in the soil. Today I will take down the plastic from the patio (make shift green house), make sure all of the arbors are stable and plant my potato starters amongst the randomly sprouting pumpkins. I ought to take some pictures of the garden in it's early stage and post some pictures.
Exes...grrrrr...frustrating. There is so much anger, anger a secondary emotion, perhaps hurt or disappointment is a better descriptor. Truly it amazes me how someone so far away can have such an impact on so many lives. There is some idea in his head, or so I believe, that he cannot be an affective parent from such a distance. Somehow I must find a way to convey that if he can have a strong negative impact the way he has then the potential for an equally strong positive impact is also there. Every day is the opportunity to leave a memory in the mind of a child and it would seem to me that he would prefer to leave happy memories he just doesn't know how. I wonder if there are any websites for distance parenting, advice and support things. I am very happy that he is moving on with his life and creating a new existence for himself, I just wish he could still find a way to include the children he already has a bit more.
Vacation?...exciting and terrifying. There are so many loving faces I long to see and warm embraces I yearn to behold in my trip to the Bay Area. However, I have become so accustomed to my relatively quiet, slow paced, small town life that even just thinking about the fast paced, loud, over crowded and sometimes violent madness that I moved away from gives me knots in my stomach. The bottle of 10 little pills prescribed just for this trip will most likely be my best friend. At least while I am in the crazy busy Oakland airport I will be happily living in an anxiety free state. I know that Chris is doing his very best to be supportive and I'm sure that me taking about my fears of this trip is not helping. He has this manly husband want/need to protect me from the outside world (that is outside of our little area) and he has this idea that I am stepping into a dangerous place. The news of Lyra's crazy drive by probably didn't help. My constant need to talk to my husband about everything probably needs a filter for the time being.
Ah I feel a little better now, a small weight has been lifted.
Time for a gratitude attitude adjustment...
I am grateful for having the space to plant a small garden.
I am grateful that our 6th graders had a great time at camp.
I am grateful that our 6th graders are home...I missed them.
I am grateful that today is payday.
I am grateful BreAnna starts her new job today.
I am grateful Chris has a (unofficial) job interview.
I am grateful my body is getting stronger.
I am grateful we found a good psychiatrist for Kenneth and Matthew.
I am grateful for music to dance/skate to.
I am grateful for a good mood :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
It's been a long time in my hectic life...but I'm back.
This morning I was re-introduced to Blogspot and while reading through my posts remembered how much and why I liked this site. I also realized how much has happened since the last time I wrote anything. Our family and it's dynamics have changed so much. We have really come together as a unit now. It is amazing looking back at how things began to see how smoothly we melded together. As birthday season is on the brink of exploding the kids are at the moment 16, 14, 12, 11, 10, 9, 7, and 1. As of this summer Chris and I will have been together for three years, although it seems like so much longer.
I want to use this space again. There are so many wonderful adventures in life, love, learning and parenting that I want to share. This will more than likely a space where my filter will be off so if you are offended log off and don't read anymore.
I want to use this space again. There are so many wonderful adventures in life, love, learning and parenting that I want to share. This will more than likely a space where my filter will be off so if you are offended log off and don't read anymore.
Friday, April 25, 2008
System overload...failure???
It's seems to be that old 'too many cooks spoil the soup' or maybe it is a case of the 'telephone' game. Whether it is simply a case of too many people involved or convoluted messages it is seeming to be quite a challenge to get Matthew the help that is needed. He is struggling so hard academically and I don't even know where to start to help him out! I got a call this morning from Tracy LB and she had said that she got a call from Carol with the school saying she wanted to arrange a meeting with everyone to discuss Matthew's behavior problems. We were both really thrown for a loop because Matthew seems to be having great behavior at school as far as I can tell and I check with the teacher every week...as I relayed to Tracy. It seems it is not his behavior but his academics that are the problem...which is really no new news. Only thing is no ones seems to best know how to meet his needs. SO now we have to have a meeting of the minds, bringing all the cooks to one giant pot, and figure out how we can teach this kiddo and start to catch him up a little. Here's the thing though...for one kid to make a p;an of action we need to have a room with like 9 people in it...doesn't this seem like a bit much?
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
ARGH!
It's a bitch session blog because taxes suck and so does starting the day with whining children.
I was up way past my bedtime last night doing taxes. Why so last minute??? They we're my taxes they were his taxes. In typical testosterone fashion the were procrastinated until the very last minute, well almost it did get done before midnight. This was the first year I have actually done taxes (as in not hired a preparer) in at least ten years and I didn't even make enough this year to file! Not even enough for the economic stimulus deal. Stay at home Mom, hard work, no pay. This is also the first year since 1998 that I could have filed as single. What a strange realization that was. Here I am very committed to a wonderfully loving relationship, which is very different from where I have been for the last decade. I am very pregnant with my partners wiggly little baby. We are raising a huge family together...yet I can file single!?. I hate the way the government and society labels relationships and determines who qualifies for what based on their outline/morals of what a family should look like.
Needless to say I didn't sleep well after sitting in front of a computer screen and staring at tax info for hours. We crawled in bed and put on one of our favorite movies...Princess Bride which he had picked up a new copy of on his way home. He knew I was going to need a cuddle in bed and watch the dumb box night after the crazy day I had with the kids and then doing taxes after they went to bed. He was even good enough to buy treats for movie time! We didn't make it very far past the fire swamp before crashing hard. Although it was a night full of tossing and turning, strange dreams and emptying the pregnant bladder. All of this adds up to not enough sleep - not a good way to start a day.
It all started out fairly well, every one was awake by the time I went to rouse them! I got lunches prepared for the two kids headed off to field trips and that's where the trouble began. My eight year old wanted a cold lunch...normally this wouldn't be a problem but we have had no cash for anything including groceries. The assistance we applied for hasn't come through yet and we don't have enough for everyone. Since they all qualified for free hot lunches I reminded him of this and talked to him about all the choices the school offered for lunches - this still wasn't good enough. Then his fit switched causes...he couldn't find socks. Why not...well because none of his dirty socks made it to the laundry. This is one of the situations I refer to as 'not my problem' every basket of laundry I receive I wash dry and fold. It is they're responsibility to put the dirty clothes in the basket and put them away when they are clean! GRRRRR so why is this a constant problem? I had two older siblings help him look for socks in the random sock basket (it's where all the left over mis-matched socks end up) and both helped him to find socks. The HUGE problem with that was the first kid found two socks of different sizes that obviously didn't match...this would JUST NOT WORK! The second kid found him two matching socks-miraculous!!! This however wouldn't work either because they were his sisters socks! Now these are not pink frilly lacy socks they are plain white ankle socks with the brand name on the toe in a pale purple...not super girlie looking. What mattered was that he knew they were hers and would not I repeat WOULD NOT wear girl socks to school. At this point we have five minutes to leave. The walkers have already left for school and the car riders are all waiting on this one kiddo. I literally had to sit him down and put on his socks, shoes, jacket, and back pack all while he was screaming and throwing a fit. He did at least make it to school on time. He was angry with me still but didn't refuse to get out of the car so at least that battle was avoided. Time to take stock and be thankful for the good things.
Everyone got out of bed on their own and on time!!!
Six out of seven kids got dressed with no problems!!!
There was enough lunch stuff to make cold lunches for the two headed off on their first field trip together!!!
My pre-teen was not only nice this morning but helpful and understanding!!!
The weather was nice enough that the walkers could walk and I didn't have to scramble to arrange for a ride.
The house is now almost quiet as only one is left at home until noon.
I get to nap today!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thankful, we are blessed and the day will turn around again, and again, and again.
I was up way past my bedtime last night doing taxes. Why so last minute??? They we're my taxes they were his taxes. In typical testosterone fashion the were procrastinated until the very last minute, well almost it did get done before midnight. This was the first year I have actually done taxes (as in not hired a preparer) in at least ten years and I didn't even make enough this year to file! Not even enough for the economic stimulus deal. Stay at home Mom, hard work, no pay. This is also the first year since 1998 that I could have filed as single. What a strange realization that was. Here I am very committed to a wonderfully loving relationship, which is very different from where I have been for the last decade. I am very pregnant with my partners wiggly little baby. We are raising a huge family together...yet I can file single!?. I hate the way the government and society labels relationships and determines who qualifies for what based on their outline/morals of what a family should look like.
Needless to say I didn't sleep well after sitting in front of a computer screen and staring at tax info for hours. We crawled in bed and put on one of our favorite movies...Princess Bride which he had picked up a new copy of on his way home. He knew I was going to need a cuddle in bed and watch the dumb box night after the crazy day I had with the kids and then doing taxes after they went to bed. He was even good enough to buy treats for movie time! We didn't make it very far past the fire swamp before crashing hard. Although it was a night full of tossing and turning, strange dreams and emptying the pregnant bladder. All of this adds up to not enough sleep - not a good way to start a day.
It all started out fairly well, every one was awake by the time I went to rouse them! I got lunches prepared for the two kids headed off to field trips and that's where the trouble began. My eight year old wanted a cold lunch...normally this wouldn't be a problem but we have had no cash for anything including groceries. The assistance we applied for hasn't come through yet and we don't have enough for everyone. Since they all qualified for free hot lunches I reminded him of this and talked to him about all the choices the school offered for lunches - this still wasn't good enough. Then his fit switched causes...he couldn't find socks. Why not...well because none of his dirty socks made it to the laundry. This is one of the situations I refer to as 'not my problem' every basket of laundry I receive I wash dry and fold. It is they're responsibility to put the dirty clothes in the basket and put them away when they are clean! GRRRRR so why is this a constant problem? I had two older siblings help him look for socks in the random sock basket (it's where all the left over mis-matched socks end up) and both helped him to find socks. The HUGE problem with that was the first kid found two socks of different sizes that obviously didn't match...this would JUST NOT WORK! The second kid found him two matching socks-miraculous!!! This however wouldn't work either because they were his sisters socks! Now these are not pink frilly lacy socks they are plain white ankle socks with the brand name on the toe in a pale purple...not super girlie looking. What mattered was that he knew they were hers and would not I repeat WOULD NOT wear girl socks to school. At this point we have five minutes to leave. The walkers have already left for school and the car riders are all waiting on this one kiddo. I literally had to sit him down and put on his socks, shoes, jacket, and back pack all while he was screaming and throwing a fit. He did at least make it to school on time. He was angry with me still but didn't refuse to get out of the car so at least that battle was avoided. Time to take stock and be thankful for the good things.
Everyone got out of bed on their own and on time!!!
Six out of seven kids got dressed with no problems!!!
There was enough lunch stuff to make cold lunches for the two headed off on their first field trip together!!!
My pre-teen was not only nice this morning but helpful and understanding!!!
The weather was nice enough that the walkers could walk and I didn't have to scramble to arrange for a ride.
The house is now almost quiet as only one is left at home until noon.
I get to nap today!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am thankful, we are blessed and the day will turn around again, and again, and again.
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